Butterfly effect

Just had a fabulous week with my sweet E and R and other friends.

Woke up this morning, I opened explorer to check FB's news feed and all the pictures friends put there. I started to wonder, has everything really happened?

I was haunted by the dutch employment regulation for a whole day yesterday which gave me a huge trouble falling asleep.
There's no fairness in this world. Although I have known this for long, when it attacked me, I am still shocked. It feels like someone poured a bucket full of icy water on top of me.
So bloody cruel, but real.

I feel scared when I think of the butterfly effect theory. You never know whose mood, feeling or decision today will influence your whole life. And you never know your feeling, behaviour or decision will affect whom.
Life is all about decision makings and we had to make choices all the time.

Someone chose to be the one who picks the others, someone chose to be the one who was picked by the others or fate. Someone wanted to pick up their own destiny, but somehow couldn't.
And no one can avoid to be picked at least once in their life.

Priorities and decision-makings, constitute the invisible net in the air among human communications and interactions.

I don't want to be chosen. I want to choose.
But then how?