let it come, and let it leave

I know when I feel lonely and stressful with heavy work load, it is normal and easy to like someone random. Sometimes simply for distraction.

Let it come, and let it leave.

little time

i have so little time for myself now.

except for sleeping, how many hours do i have left for thinking other things except for business?

when i wake up, i feel tired.

i need some time alone.

body and mind, who's more honest?

remember when i was still in the coldest country living alone, i used to play some stupid and bloody&violent online flash games until i hurt my wrist while im under stress.
until recently, im using my left hand more and more, i feel more ease. also due to the fact that im realizing and accepting the way how i am, and how crazy i can be from time to time, body is revealing more info that i could ever imagine.

i used to think that body is something limiting our brain & mind. Now i think, and im more sure that mind is the only thing which is limiting our body.

if my mind tells a lie, my body tells the truth.

thats why we get hurt, get insomnia, get exhausted, get allergic, get a lot of odd symptoms that we cannot explain when we are under stress or anxiety.

if we are not honest, our body fight back with this extremely passive aggressive way.

im still afraid. but it is ok.
let it come, and allow it to leave.
give it more space to breathe. :)

aug4

i think for now, i dont like anyone else.

it seems...so empty all of a sudden.
only me, standing there.

and there's no one out there it feels.

such a big stage.

there's grey

ive been watching "the reader" again.

there have been so many things forbidden in this world for all of us humanbeings.
and i set lots of limits for myself.

now im slowly breaking them one by one. very very slow. but getting there.

and we are all very much complicated. very very much.

there are so much grey between black and white where i used to stand.

Aug 3, 2011

talking to some designers from BBDO. met a nice photographer last night and gave him a book of Jean-Jacques Rousseau's "botanical communication". he liked it very much and texted me to say thank you.

im learning how to give ppl the right thing to make them feel happy.

im glad that im stepping out from the scary me.

coming back from pudong international airport again, and i hate saying goodbyes always.
however, im having this over and over again.

of course im meeting a lot of new things in my life.

didnt know my experiences in TBWA gave me something except for endless over-times.

:)

aug2

by reading my old diaries, i found i was self-cheating so much.

nice to wake up.

hello, world！ :)

Something about money

i havent been writing this blog for more than a year now. thought could be nice if i can use it again.

discussing about money issue with friends are always awkward and embrassing for me, however, what you're afraid of the most, it comes to you first.

i dont remember how i started to ask for money and borrowing money from friends for the first time, and how much pressure i left for myself for that.
money is a very sensitive issue for most of us. the attitude how we deal with it, usually represents the attitude how we treat love. this is what i read from one book.

i think i have big problems borrowing and asking for it. does it mean that i have the same prob when im dealing with intimate issues?
i dont know.

today we came to argue about saving for more chances of running business or spending for sense of security of living. i dont know.
for me, it's all about different priorities in our lives. and a lot of us apparently have different priorities.

when you are not running a business, you can avoid most of your problems in daily life. but when you are running one, then all the fear, insecurity, anxiety came to hit you.
and if you dont face it and fix it right away, it will cause loss.
time loss at first, and then energy, opportunity, and eventually money.

money is just a start. and then there will be more problems.

let's see what happens.