Nirvana

I remembered the other day when we were playing a card game. We were acting a phrase "pull yourself together". We guessed for a long time, and the actor tried her best. We couldn't figure out the meaning.
And I have heard this phrase again in another movie recently.
This phrase appeared again and again in my head.

Finally this morning when I woke up and looked at the ceiling. The sentence came to me again.

There is not much time. Pull yourself together.

I wanted to laugh, laugh in the endless whiteness.

Time for a change.
Re-organizing myself is very fun.

I tend to love my destructive side. It helps for making a change.

I am a therapist for myself. Reading and writing to myself did a great help.
I can see the slightest light from the end of the tunnel.



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ps. They had a long-time still full frontal scene of Crixus in Spartacus:Blood and Sand EP05 !!! American TV series are doing better and better! I was so shocked!